The biggest blessings come after toughest hardships.

Hi friends, I’ve missed you. I was so gung-ho about this blog when I started it last August and then I moved to Spain for 9 months… But now I’m back and reflecting on my life, as one tends to do when you’re back in your high school bedroom, and honestly… I feel content. Peaceful even. Now don’t get me wrong I’ve had my moments of absolute crash out. When the existential dread kicks in from turning just one year older. But that one year is a chapter closing within itself. R.I.P to my twenties. I think the most sobering thing about turning 30 is realizing you never actually “figure” anything out. You don’t wake up one day and turn into an adult that cuts back on the sweets because it genuinely hurts your stomach. It’s a bunch of little things that change because well…YOU change. The things you like, the places you live, the people you hang out with. I’ve picked up and moved more times that necessary or sane by anyone’s definition of a successful or stable life. But the beauty of this life is that is YOUR life, and when you take the time to sit down and ask yourself what you really want. You figure out that what you’ve been doing the past ten years is a series of listening to others fears, taking the job because well, you need one and your savings is pretty much non-existent, and then the little snippets of joy found in the mundane.

There are of course the milestones in which we measure the years. There was the year I graduated from college, the year I had 5 jobs, the year I got fired from the “safe” job and moved to China to teach English. The years I got my masters degree and celebrated on the front porch with a bottle of champagne with my step dad while facetiming my mom. The year I got fired again and moved to California where I met 2 girls who I now have a silly named group chat with and take trips with. Then this past year. Year 29. I got fired for the third time from a job I actually liked, but had the most toxic boss I had ever had. In just a little over a month I would go on to teach English again, but this time in Spain.

Spain changed me. It made me confront what I really want out of my life. I met amazing people along the way. People that feel like home. All of this to say…that at the times I felt the most devastated and rejected it really was just a redirection. Because every time and I mean EVERY SINGLE TIME, something greater than I could have ever dreamed came next. Our purpose  in this life gets overcomplicated a lot, but in reality it's quite simple.

We are meant to follow our highest excitement, whether it's a person, place, job, or idea. What excites you the most? Do that thing, even if you don’t know how. You will figure it out. You have every time so far. Two, do that thing to the best of your ability. Give it your all. Really make an effort. Lastly, do this thing without any expectation on what the outcome will be. Do it for the joy that it brings you to do it. As well as, no expectation for how long that thing will last. The saying “Nothing good lasts forever” is a saying because it's as true and real as me and you. There will come a time for that thing to end because change is the only constant in life. It doesn’t have to be a goodbye, perhaps just a see you later.

Because believe it or not, YOU are all that you need.

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How I ended up living in China for a year